A diary entry by Dorian Gray

December 9, 1895.

Dear Diary!

I can't feel my fingers holding the pen I'm writing with right now...Everything's all numb and dizzy. I feel like I'm floating in the universe, stars passing me by. Everything's so peaceful and silent. I can hear my own breathing. It's slow and even. Like a beautiful lullaby.

Some would probably ask why all of this is the way it is. Well... I think the accurate explanation would be that the effect of opium and drinks mixed all together hasn't worn off yet. Admittedly, it's not a very advisable combination but it sure makes you forget at least for a short period of time what you've done. And in my case...what I've done...is unforgivable. No one in this world shall know about it, but I can't keep it just to myself. It's consuming me from within.

Dear Diary! I'm a murderer. Yes. I took away a human life. I know I haven't been a saint for a long time, all my innocence and a great amount of my humanity have gone since my wish on the picture but I have never thought I could sink this deep in the sins of this satanic world. As if it's not enough, the story gets better! The person I sent to the world of shadows was Basil! My dear friend! But I just couldn't help it...His face when he saw the picture...I know it's turned horrible and repulsive, true, but still. I think his reaction pushed it and then I lost it. The knife just appeared in my hand and I just swung it in the air and stabbed. Again. And again. I don't remember how many times I saw the blade sink into his flesh but the result looked a lot like a bloody rug-baby. I killed him. Just like one snaps their finger.

 It's kind of unbelievable after all this amount of psychoactive  drugs. I'm staring at the words I've just written. I did all this.  Did I really? Yes, I think I did. Small shreds of memories tell me so. Oh, well. I did it, I should be punished for it, but I won't be. I took care of the corpse. Well, not personally, but I did. How? Let it be my secret. Though I used someone's assist, so I guess it's his secret, too. Oh, Lord! I'm not asking you to redeem my soul. That would be just useless, because now it's impossible to do that. I'm asking you to keep our secret from the rest of the world. But we all know what they say about this: two can keep a secret if one of them is dead...Hmm... Should I take measures in connection with this issue, too?